Zonked Yak
YAKNESS

I'm The Yak

I, unlike cows, GRUNT, rather than MOO

Yaks have horns, and long shaggy hair. "The word Yak is also used to describe an irritating or disagreeable individual" - Wikipedia


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    Welcome to Zonked Yak where yak is, well, generally zonked. Oh, move your cursor over my balls to make cyber yaklings

    Friday, October 06, 2006

    The problem with blogging. Yak freelance.


    Hey. I've figured it out. The problem with blogging.

    It's that you have to blog. Now being a yak is my full time occupation, and that can get in the way. Sometimes when the snowy season starts, I have to forage. Sometimes I have to tend to the randier yak ladies in their times of need. My tribe needs me (only humans and dolphins mate for pleasure, remember).

    So while I wanted this to be a fun site to share some of the stranger thoughts that go through my un-human head (if only to lay the claim that I possess the world's oldest hamburger), it's not possible for me to update as regularly as I would like to. That sucks. And as a result of that, I think the site sucks.

    Anyway, if you feel like having a yak guest blogger on your site, let me know and I'll happily take on a team effort. Otherwise, it could be a while.

    X.


    Posted by the yak at 4:39 AM | Permalink | Comments

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    Wednesday, October 04, 2006

    Exciting times! The world's oldest hamburger?


    Things are getting too exciting here for the Yak to handle!

    Firstly, and definitely most importantly, we have thus far found no links/information to dispute the fact that we are possibly in possession of the WORLD'S OLDEST (MCDONALDS) HAMBURGER! (really, see post here)


    Glory awaits the burger?

    The question, of course, becomes what to do about it! We'll be approaching Guinness in order to attempt to verify our claim, but we have no idea how far hamburger ageing technology has advanced over the years. Will they take our words for it? (Billy's Mom never lies)

    If you have any information relating to dating things or the age of old burgers, or of course, if you just feel like winning a case of beer, contact us asap!!!

    Then, just to make our day, and on the verge of us announcing the winner of the best abs in the world segment of our investigation into what the internet man thinks is hot in his woman, (wow, take breath in long sentence here) we get mailed our first entry into the COBRA win a case of beer contest! The yak loves you all for making his day. But above all, the yak loves the burger.


    Posted by the yak at 6:41 AM | Permalink | Comments

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    Win a case of Cobra Beer!


    Yes, you read right. Free beer! (But in order to claim your beer, you have to do two things:)

    1. Take a picture of someone hot. Send it to the yak. We don't mind if you're a stalker, a creep, or just keen for beer. Hottest goes to the top of the pile.

    2.The top ten people who stalked the ten hottest individuals (sick, sick people) will then get the opportunity to submit ideas for the NEXT win a case of beer competition. Best idea gets the case.

    It's that simple. Now start stalking! Then, once again for clarity, mail your pictures here.

    Oh, I suppose you're all looking for some inspiration. Ok, we either want them looking like this:


    Or, if you really must, something like this would do just fine too:
    Ok, what are you waiting for? Your beer awaits.


    Posted by the yak at 4:38 AM | Permalink | Comments

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    Tuesday, October 03, 2006

    Working yak, some vaguely interesting economics links


    Ok, so besides being a celerity blogger, I too have to earn a living. I therefore have nothing but work-related goeters to offer you. Here are some I thought might be interesting to the general public:

    • Two economists have studied traffic violations at the UN. This is very boring, until you realize that diplomats are not fined for their traffic violations, being, as such, above the law. While corruption is hard to define, it comes across as a clear indicator both of cultural difference and the corruption of government. Kuwait tops the list with 246(!) violations per diplomat. South Africa clocks in at 34, and nice developed countries such as Canada, Sweden, Isreal, Norway and Denmark all have none. See the full paper here

    • In South Africa the debate regarding minimum wage as a tool to alleviate poverty is always a big one. David Neumark is a prominent critic of the minimum wage. Read his latest study here, and never be left in the dark when would-be intellectuals try to take you on at the dinner table.

    Ok, that's all for now. Must go make millions. Sorry for being boring.


    Posted by the yak at 8:43 AM | Permalink | Comments

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    Monday, October 02, 2006

    The oldest McDonald's burger alive today? (Or the story of the burger who thought he could)


    This wonderful piece of photography not only shows off how the marketers and engineers at Sony still can't design camera's for individuals with hooves, but what you see before you is a miracle of modern-day food engineering. This McDonalds' cheeseburger is more than 5 years old!

    No, really. It belongs to a friend of the yak, who like all good birthday boys felt the urge to indulge in culinary delicacy in the early hours of his birthmorn. The incredible desire to sleep overwhelmed him, and he forgot about (some of) his burgers. The following morning, he did what all good students do, and scoffed the lot. But one remained hidden in the uncharted recesses of his bedroom. Only to be discovered by our underpaid and abused slave Doris in the week.

    What else do you do with such a discovery but give it a place of honour. And so, it was given a small shrine, and still exists. And it's fine. Just a bit crunchy. But I doubt there's anything wrong with it that a microwave and a bit of tabasco can't fix.

    Yummy.

    Of course, the option of putting it up on E-bay and having Goldenpalace.com buy it for gazillions has crossed our minds. But some things are bigger than money. Bigger than the fame, and the prestige. Plus, having it around has kinda helped the waistline. Magical properties, I tells ya.


    Posted by the yak at 3:39 AM | Permalink | Comments

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