Zonked Yak
YAKNESS

I'm The Yak

I, unlike cows, GRUNT, rather than MOO

Yaks have horns, and long shaggy hair. "The word Yak is also used to describe an irritating or disagreeable individual" - Wikipedia


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    Welcome to Zonked Yak where yak is, well, generally zonked. Oh, move your cursor over my balls to make cyber yaklings

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    Measuring beauty


    This picture is a recent addition to the soft porn that is trickling into my mailbox in honour of the "win a case of beer" contest started last month. Many of the entries are asking how a yak can objectively (or for that matter subjectively) judge the beauty of human competitors. I've given it a bit of thought, and have had to resort to getting scientific:

    If we were to judge the beauty of people out of 10 it would be exceedingly difficult without some kind of benchmark. Because we didn't feel like dabbling in the Ugly Things scale, we started at the top. The ultimate in human beauty, of course, was Helen of Troy. So she'd have to, on a scale of 1 to 10, be as close to a 10 as possible. (We also couldn't use high level binary programming for this, because then even she'd be a 2.)

    So using the Troy system of calculation, one millihelen would be the ammount of beauty requred to launch ONE ship. A millihelen would equate to roughly 0.0010986 units of natural beauty. A microhelen would be the ammount of beauty required to motivate one sailor.

    Err, I hope that answers all your questions. In short, I'll be using this system to allocate points for the one I THINK is the hottest. We take it from there. Ok bye.


    Posted by the yak on Tuesday, November 07, 2006 at 3:22 AM | Permalink | Comments

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