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Charlize Theron wants you to masturbate, and Johnson & Johnson recommend death

I'm confused. Again. You humans are weird. Please, someone, anyone, tell me how this advert is supposed to encourage abstinence:

Maybe Charlize wants all hot-blooded teens to furiously masturbate themselves half to death, thus losing any urge they might have had to hump pre-maritally.
Maybe we're supposed to realize that Charlize's legs don't fit into the ideal ratio of 1.55 thigh to 1 calf (as some yak with too much time on his hands discovered here), and if you abstain, you might find the PERFECT woman
Err, emm, aw stuff it, can't think of any. But I certainly won't be going to the teens-4-christ website if I really wanted to abstain, just in case they throw another couple of half-naked legs-spread randy-looking porno pics of gorgeous women at me.

While we're on abstention, prophylactics have come to the blogging world recently, with the launch of South Africa's new easy-to-pop-on condom brand pronto. Not to be outdone, Johnson & Johnson have revealed the secret to their female contaceptive patch, Ortho Evra: it kills you, thereby completely reducing the risk of pregancy. Now why didn't we think of that...

Posted by the yak on Friday, November 03, 2006 at 3:37 AM | Permalink | Comments

wow... i am a completely hetrosexual woman, but that picture made me think very naughty thoughts about Charlize...

as for the Ortho Evra... death or pregnancy? now which would I choose? :)

Posted by M | 10:23 AM

Don't know how true it is, looks a bit Photoshop'd, but still fucking funny!

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Charlize Theron wants you to masturbate, and Johnson & Johnson recommend death

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