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I'm The Yak

I, unlike cows, GRUNT, rather than MOO

Yaks have horns, and long shaggy hair. "The word Yak is also used to describe an irritating or disagreeable individual" - Wikipedia


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    Welcome to Zonked Yak where yak is, well, generally zonked. Oh, move your cursor over my balls to make cyber yaklings

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    The Yak blogs after being possessed by the ghost of right-wing US republican senator


    I leave the internet for a couple of days, and what happens!? After four years of justly convicting Guantanamo prisoners of classified crimes before a fair and impartial kangaroo court of their peers, a power-mad US Supreme Court has ruled that the military tribunals at Gitmo are "illegal" and that the president has to "obey the law." Well this is just the kind of dangerous radicalism that leads to fascism and human rights! What are they going to do with these people, try them in actual courtrooms with lawyers, juries and "evidence"? That way lies madness - or worse, democracy! If the US gives her enemies actual rights they'll turn the deadly power of the justice system against them, smuggling weaponized due process into American cities, crashing the Fifth Amendment into skyscrapers, setting off radiological writs of habeas corpus in Times Square!

    And how are we going to fight the terrorists in the first place with our military tied up in bureaucratic red tape like the "Geneva Conventions" and the "Bill of Rights"? We can't give up our right to torture people while the enemy's still torturing people - that's unilateral disarmament in the torture race! We've already got an atrocity gap here, people! Oh sure, we're doing alright with our cutting-edge waterboarding, hypothermia and "beat them to death" programs, but we'll never catch up in this fight if we don't get access to their top secret beheading technology! It's a simple question of action and response. When they blow up a mosque, we massacre a village! When they chop off someone's head, we send someone else off to Uzbekistan to get boiled alive! That's the GWOT way! But none of these vital tools will be at our disposal if we've got activist judges shutting down our Pentagon torture programs and our secret CIA prisons and our crack commando baby-rape squads!

    That's why George W. Bush has to take this case to the highester court in the land: the court of George W. Bush. It's a tough bench alright, but Bush can win this one as long as he exercises his constitutional right to ignore the Constitution. The legal technicalities are pretty complicated but I believe it involves filing a writ of la di da di doo da according to the precedent of I Can't Hear You v. I'm Not Listening. Only then can the forces of freedom protect America from the hordes of Democrofascists that would menace her with their savage civil liberties!

    God bless America.


    Posted by the yak on Monday, November 06, 2006 at 12:13 PM | Permalink | Comments

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